◔ 5 minutes read
How embracing anxiety changed my life. A journey of self acceptance...
We’ve come a long way. It has taught me more about myself than anyone or anything else. It’been there with me in my best and my worst times. My life companion, my best friend, my life teacher.
I hated it most of my life, cursing its existence, wondering why it made me miserable. Until one day, I realized that maybe the reason for its existence was indeed disturbing me, but in a good way, that maybe I’ve misunderstood it all my life and it was time to start our relationship all over, this time, with a different focus.
From worst enemies to best friends
It became quite clear to me that I had to embrace it somehow, because it didn’t matter what I tried, it was always there with me, so I decided I was going to let it all in and accept it as a part of me instead of denying it.
That moment changed my life. Accepting it and becoming one with it was one of the best things I’ve ever done for myself.
I learned the hard way, as everyone does I suppose, that the more you deny a part of yourself, the more you suffer. The more you try to push something away the harder it will fight to get back, that’s just life.
So I started my Journey of acceptance and put all my efforts into learning about Anxiety. It was the first time in my life I spent so much time reading. I read so much it became a habit.
Reading all that new information and all the problems and symptoms anxiety causes made me feel so overwhelmed, many times even scared. I wondered if I was going to be able to overcome it sometime.
After all this years and all the learning, reflecting and meditating I’ve learn something very important: “You don’t overcome anxiety, you embrace it and accept it until it becomes a very important part of you, your best advisor, your best friend”
My best advisor
Once you accept Anxiety as a part of you and you start listening to it carefully you realize it is just like any other emotion that comes and goes, like happiness, fear or sadness, only that this particular one likes to stick with us a lot longer than the others.
How do you accept anxiety, how do you embrace it? Well, it's a matter of mindset you must develop as a habit. Telling yourself every time that is not there to harm you, is there to help you. Be mindfully aware of it to listen carefully to what's happening to you at that moment and what it's trying to tell you.
It became quite clear to me, with time, that every time I felt anxious was because I wasn’t doing things that were important to me, personally or professionally.
Every time I didn’t express myself: anxiety. Every time I woke up late: anxiety. Every time I skipped training: anxiety. Every time, and this one was and still is the most important to me, I procrastinated: anxiety. I could name a lot more but it would be a very long and boring paragraph.
You can read my blog post about Procrastination here
So it became my best advisor. Because every time I didn’t do any of those things anxiety came in and kicked my ass, what made me realize that it was there to disturb me but in a good way, it was there to tell me that I needed to do those things, I needed to get out of my comfort zone and take care of my business, to stop being a lazy bastard basically.
My life teacher
I call it my life teacher because it has, and still does, pushed me to improve myself so much. I’ve learned to express myself, to create healthy routines and relationships, to train, to meditate, to read, to learn, to work hard for my goals, and most importantly, to accept myself, to love me for who I am.
If I could choose a life without anxiety I certainly wouldn’t do it because I wouldn’t be who I am today and I’m damn proud of who I am today.
I needed something to push me out of my comfort zone to go for the life I wanted, and Anxiety was that to me, and still is.
Conclusion
The more you try to push something away the harder it will fight to get back to you. Accept Anxiety, embrace it. It’s part of who you are and it’s here to help you discover yourself, not to torture you.
The more you accept it and learn about it, the less it will affect your wellbeing. It’s who you are, it’s a part of you. Don’t resist it, welcome it, let it tell you when to stop, when to take action, when to let go.
Tell yourself: "Anxiety, I let you in, I accept you as a very important part of me, what are you trying to tell me?". Listen to yourself very carefully, sit down and reflect on your life. Read and learn all you can about anxiety and about yourself, it's the only way forward, the only way towards calmness.